The Roof

The place that i will probably remember more vividly than anywhere else in this country will be the roof of this building.

I can't tell you how many times i go there to relax and be alone, under the stars or the sun. The nuns don't let anyone up there because i'm sure they'd feel liable, but i can't even begin to describe the way it inspires me. hopefully, someday i'll be able to put an image up for you to see. Every day when the nuns are in mass or busy i sneak up the stairs and through the door that leads to the top of the convent.

The view is stunning. The tips of the cathedrals, mosques, markets and shingled, apartment rooves are in full view. The city, old and encircled by a backdrop of mountains, spotted with trees and ancient stone castles and farms is only ameliorated by the pristine nature that masks the dusty streets and crumbling buildings. There are only a few other buildings taller than our own, and so, often times i finally feel like a liberated animal.

There are so many birds here and often the sky is so clear that the trails of smoke left behind by airplanes stay like white pencil sketches above my head for what seems like hours. There is always a soft breeze. the type of breeze that you hardly know is there until you feel something soft brush against your arm, as if it was alive. it's a spiritual retreat.

I found an old exercise machine that resembles a mini stair-stepper in the nun's kitchen behind the television set, that one of them had used for physical therapy. I bring it to the roof and do a bit of aerobics as often as i can. it's never enough and i'm too easy on myself, but it's better than nothing. Today I put on shorts and brought the little machine to the hideaway and exercised and spent two hours reading and stretching under the sun. The apartment next to my convent can see our roof from the top floor and i'm sure i was quite a spectacle.. the weird foreigner.. a little boy came to his window and started bobbing up and down, waving at me as i stared straight back at him, bobbing up and down. oh i'm strange. It's just that i feel so alive after spending so much time in solitude. There are walls that surround the roof that go up to my waist and so, when i'm laying down on my back, all i can i see is the rippled, yellow paint and clear blue sky. From below all of the sounds of the city, honking cars, the bells on bicycles and the prayers coming from the mosque and outdoor vendor's voices can be heard but no one knows i am there and i in feeling so invisible i guess i feel liberated. it's like being able to exist solely for oneself and knowing that no one can see you but ladybugs and birds.